Ready, Set…maybe next time

How comfortable are you? No, not your chair. In your skin. When was the last time you tried something new? How often do you step out of your comfort zone? Having a comfort zone can be a good thing. It’s where you feel the strongest, safest and most comfortable. When you feel secure, you have more confidence.

But it’s not always a good thing to be that comfortable. It can lead to a rut so deep you may not realize you’re in it. That can lead to boredom, missed opportunities, a wide posterior. Sometimes we need to step out of our comfort zone. The fear of making a change or trying something new can become monumental if allowed to grow unchecked.

So how do you tell if you’re stuck in a rut? For starters, pay attention to how many times you opt not to do something. Why are you saying no? Is it always for the same reason? Are you too set in your ways to get up and do something? Also pay

attention to how often you chose not to do something that you use to a lot of. When an old friend asks you for a long overdue lunch date or to go for coffee, are you saying no because you’ve had too much coffee already or because you just want to go sit in your comfy chair and not move? Do you find yourself saying, “I’m just too set in my ways” or “I’m too old for that anymore” or “maybe next time?” Pay attention to when and why you say these things. It could be that you’re trying to avoid stepping out for some reason.

We all get tired. We all have days we just want to go home and not deal with the outside world for a few hours. But we all need human contact. We all need to get out in the sunshine and enjoy life. Don’t be afraid to put on some sunblock and step out the door.

Sifting through the ashes

Most of us have had some experience with loss. Fires, tornadoes and hurricanes, deaths of loved ones, deaths of relationships. Loss comes in many forms. Sometimes the healing is fairly quick. But some wounds are deceptive in how deep they really go. You may think you’re over it, but then something new happens and you realize that there are some lingering issues. What do you do?

I’ve realized over the last few days that I have some leftover damage from a past relationship. So what am I doing? Sifting through the ashes of the past and looking at what’s happening and what I feel about it. Here’s the truth of it: the other person in my life now is not doing anything different now than he was when we started this whole thing almost a year ago; his behavior is consistent. I’m the one having issues. I’m the one having doubts and second guessing myself.

the_phoenix_rise_by_amorphisss-d34q7w8Wait….did I say “I” was second guessing “myself?” Yes, I did and that’s an important distinction. I recognized a few days ago that the problem is that I’m afraid. It’s truly not anything the other person is doing. I’ve struggled for a long time with fear of failure/success. It applies to relationships, too. I’m just now realizing how much it applies. I’m afraid of making a mistake, afraid of losing someone that’s important to me, afraid to trust him because of the behavior of someone who is long gone from my life. That’s not fair to me or to him.

Okay, so what do I do now that I’ve dug through the ashes and gotten my hands all dirty? Wash away all the residue of the past. Let go of the emotional baggage that’s weighing me down and just enjoy myself and this relationship for what it is. It’s not easy, but it’s worth the effort.

Hello World!

I’m Becca. I’m a writer trying to put all the right words together. I’ve been blogging for many years and recently realized that my voice, what I wanted to say, was changing. So I decided to create a new blog. I hope you’ll join me in this new adventure in blogging.