Change is Challenging

Stuff has been happening since my last post. I have moved out of the Carolinas to Massachusetts, for starters. My honey got a nice promotion and we took the opportunity to relocate.

Relocating has its own challenges. New doctors, switching pharmacies, getting everything moved. For example, I am waiting for my new allergist to get my shot scheduled. It’s normally every two weeks. I haven’t had one in almost two months. Also, my new primary is changing one of my meds and I have to titrate off the old one. I still have four days before I start the new medication.

It’s not until you have to make changes like this that you realize how much you need those meds. I had some intrusive thoughts this morning about my honey. I won’t go into detail but it was enough to really upset me. I did recognize it for what it was. And I know it’s because of the change in my meds. I have reached out to a new therapist. And my honey was very reassuring when I was finally able to speak to her. The incident was a wakeup call for how well the meds control those bad thoughts.

It’s important to have a good support system around you. Family, friends, a good therapist, whoever that is, have people you can count on when you need them. Changes are stressful. Ask for help when you need it. Remember to drink your water, take your vitamins, and get enough sleep and sunshine.

Rebounding from Fear

TAXES! CANCER! VOLDEMORT! 

There! I said all the scary words.

I realized today that once you put a name on something it can make it bigger, scarier, more recognizable. For a long time I just thought I was having back and hip pain. Now I know I have sciatica and scoliosis. Those are scary words that come with medicine and tests and shots. The words make them more real. Before it was just pain that I could try to ignore and work through and go about my business as best I could.

Now I know that I will have pain if I forget my medicine. I know I will have follow-up appointments to keep in the coming months. There will be other doctors to see.

The point is that we let things grow until they overtake us. But do they really need to? If we are getting on with our bad selves before we know the names, do we really need to stop living our lives once we know those names? I saw a new doctor today who said he was running tests for a lot of things including a brain tumor, of all things. Does he really think I have a brain tumor? No, but he needs to rule it out. Does it scare the hell out of me? Yes, but I’m not going to let it change how I’m living in the week or two while I wait on test results.

To paraphrase my favorite nerd, fear of the name only increases fear of the thing. Learn the names, yes. Do research so you know what it is, yes. But fear it, no. Stand strong in knowledge and get on with your bad self.