Time Blindness

I did not realize it had been so long since I last posted here. I have settled into Massachusetts with my partner. Family members have passed away. Friends have lost loved ones. We have had major weather events cause devastation. And the world keeps on spinning. I can here the fish Dory singing, “Keep on swimming. Keep on swimming.”

I lose track of time easily with my ADHD, even on medication. I can also get caught up in what’s going on or what I’m working on and forget about the time. I set lots of alarms on my phone but even those are sometimes lost in the fog. I think it’s important to recognize the limitations of our relationship to time.

What we do with our time, who we spend it with, how we manage it, all are bits of our lives that we manage on a daily basis. Some days we get a lot done and feel very productive. Other days, not so much. But being productive is not really the end goal. It’s not the number of days you put in. It’s the quality of those days. That’s why it is important to enjoy the time you spend. Do things that make you happy. Be with people who love and encourage you. Yes, eat dessert first.

Why wait to do the things that make us happy? Be happy now.

Change is Challenging

Stuff has been happening since my last post. I have moved out of the Carolinas to Massachusetts, for starters. My honey got a nice promotion and we took the opportunity to relocate.

Relocating has its own challenges. New doctors, switching pharmacies, getting everything moved. For example, I am waiting for my new allergist to get my shot scheduled. It’s normally every two weeks. I haven’t had one in almost two months. Also, my new primary is changing one of my meds and I have to titrate off the old one. I still have four days before I start the new medication.

It’s not until you have to make changes like this that you realize how much you need those meds. I had some intrusive thoughts this morning about my honey. I won’t go into detail but it was enough to really upset me. I did recognize it for what it was. And I know it’s because of the change in my meds. I have reached out to a new therapist. And my honey was very reassuring when I was finally able to speak to her. The incident was a wakeup call for how well the meds control those bad thoughts.

It’s important to have a good support system around you. Family, friends, a good therapist, whoever that is, have people you can count on when you need them. Changes are stressful. Ask for help when you need it. Remember to drink your water, take your vitamins, and get enough sleep and sunshine.

Howdy, Neighbor

Wow. Didn’t realize it had been a year since we talked. Honestly, though, I’m not surprised. Since I saw you last I was diagnosed with severe ADHD. And in July I go for Autism testing. Let’s just say my executive function is non-existent. I’m also finding out that I am a walking definition of the phrase autistic burnout.

How are you doing? Are you drinking enough water? Remembering to take your meds? Do you get enough sunshine? A little exercise? Self care is important, too. Make sure you do something fun, something nice for yourself.

The world is still going crazy. It’s important that we find some peace for ourselves. Once we feel grounded, share some peace and love with those around us. More than just our family and friends. The world needs all the help she can get.

What?…

Okay, so I have been busy with school. We still have a pandemic going on even though most people are trying to act like life is business as usual. Russia has attacked Ukraine, most likely because Putin is dying of cancer and wants to go out looking like a hero. And now the Republicans are trying to overturn Roe v. Wade.

The world is going to Hell and people are weaving their own handbaskets. Got it.

Let me start with the most pressing matter for us here in the US. The Republican party and the Christian Right are trying to take us even closer to being back in the 40s and 50s. The cars were nice and music was getting interesting but that’s about all it had going for it. While our founding fathers came to this land for the sake of religious freedom, there is a reason the separation of church and state was written into our doctrines. You have the freedom to believe in whatever you want. But your Flying Spaghetti Monster cannot determine political policy and law for the entire nation. That takes away freedom of choice from people who do not want to be a Pastafarian.

What that means is that no governing body can use religion as the basis of writing or upholding/rescinding a law. A lawmaker’s personal beliefs may influence their decisions to a point, but they are required by law to evaluate their decisions based on the better good of the People. That is not what is happening right now. Take a good look at Congress, both houses. We do have more women and people of color than ever before. But the majority of people in those seats are still Old White Men. I am 50 years old and learned a long time ago that Old White Men do not have my best interests in mind, even when they are doctors I go to. That’s why I refuse to see an Old White Man doctor now.

These Old White Men have been in office for way too long. They have lost touch with what the People actually do in their daily lives, what the People actually need, who their constituents are. These Old White Men have been living on our tax dollars and lobbyist dollars for decades. They are comfortable in their big houses with their guaranteed health care and personal security. They do not care about the consequences of their actions. They need to be reminded.

Let’s take a look at some medical issues. Ultrasound can show if a fetus is missing organs, you know, those body parts necessary for survival. Then we have placental abruption, where families have to choose whether to try and save a fetus or the mother while both are bleeding to death. And how about people who are in a position to use fertility treatments of some kind and end up with multiple viable fertilized eggs who then have to reduce them because six is too much strain on the mother’s body. And then we have ectopic pregnancies which can also cause a woman to bleed to death when they rupture because they are not viable pregnancies. Let me say that louder for the idiots in the back. THEY ARE NOT VIABLE PREGNANCIES.

Okay, time for some economics. A vast percentage of people are sharing homes either with family or friends because the income in the US is laughable. People cannot afford a house on their own. How are they supposed to be able to afford kids, or more kids than they already have? If you know you cannot financially support a child after it is born, why have one? The welfare system is over burdened as it is. And if the female is a teenager, guess who ends up taking on that responsibility? Her parents, or grandparents, or the child ends up in foster care. Another system in the US which is flat out broken. Then we have people in broken marriages who are having to support kids without a spouse. They should not end up with the financial burden of another child if they choose not to want one.

And then we have a bigger issue. This relates to those last two in a way. Sexual abuses and rape cause pregnancies, too. Women and teenage girls should not have to carry that burden. It was not theirs to begin with. Being sexually assaulted should not be a life sentence for the victim, which is what happens when they are impregnated by their attacker and are forced to have that child. And this is perpetrated by family members just like it is from complete strangers. Monsters are human. We should not have to be reminded of their lack of control.

Speaking of control, where is the responsibility that should be put on the men who create these children? If women have to have the child, then the men should have to pay up. First of all, any man who commits a sexual assault that results in a pregnancy should have to pay for all expenses to cover the prenatal care, birth, healthcare for the child, all school expenses through college, their first car, car insurance, clothes, dental and vision care, haircuts. Anything, and I mean anything, that child needs should be paid for by the man who created it if the woman is forced to give birth. This is not up for debate.

If men don’t like that deal, then get a vasectomy. It’s cheaper by many thousands of dollars, has fewer risks, and does not require general anesthesia. I think we should start with every Old White Man in congress. Line them up and run them through a tent. Give them all an extra Covid booster while we’re at it. If they refuse, then they forfeit their salary and all lobbyist moneys for at minimum one year. Let them go back to their home states and work a job like their constituents. Let them figure out how to make a living on less than $20 an hour. Quite frankly, any person in congress who is not willing to fight for the People should resign. I don’t care what party affiliation they have. They need to relearn why those offices exist.

You know, something small and far removed from themselves is easy for a politician to shout about. Does anyone notice how many things they are removing that protect children after birth? How they are stripping stuff out of schools? Changing what can be taught? This fight over Roe v. Wade is not about babies. It has never been about babies. If politicians actually cared about babies, they would be voting for better healthcare for women and children, supporting homeless shelters, improving the foster care system and making adoptions easier and less costly. But it’s not about the babies. If politicians actually cared about us, they would fight for us instead of with each other.